Genetic Spirit

     Strong, commanding, survivalist, superwomen; where I am today, it's Mothers day. I've been thinking the past several days of the women in my life, both past and present, that have surrounded me and shaped me along my way. Each have remarkable, tragic stories and lessons to learn from. Deep down, I highly respect each person for what they have gone through and their strengths that have carried them on. Oddly enough, the one quality I admire most from these women are the same qualities that have given each woman some negativity in my eyes. Do genetics play a part; will these same qualities be my downfall, from having a lasting, peaceful, happiness in my life?

I, myself, am a Mother. I openly admit that I am far from the perfect Mum. There are times when I have felt that I have lost my mind and total sanity! I have numerous tears and battled depressions along the way so far. Thinking I did not have the strength to move forward, and yet I have dusted myself off many times and carried on. My oldest child has had to grow through many mistakes and my immaturity, my middle child has had to bear the hardships of my failings in my first marriage and my youngest has, so far, had to deal with the fallout of my past decisions. Someday I do hope all my children will look upon me and know that through it all, I have only ever worried and loved each one of them. I have never felt happier then when seeing their smiles warm across me like blazing sunshine.

As you commemorate this day, as you see fit, I have realized that no matter what your background, circumstances or upbringing it seems that deep down we crave a mother figure. Emotionally or figuratively it pulses with each breath.

"The sweetest sounds to mortals given are heard in the words Mother, Home, and Heaven."
~William Goldsmith Brown